Forgiveness....again!

image courtesy www.wikihow.com

“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” Oscar Wilde

“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive” Alan Paton

This morning I had a wonderful phone conversation with a friend I have

known since we were 14. That is nearly 50 years. In a few months it will be. That’s a long time to have a friend. She and I both went to a school for girls for high school where we met. She and I both were goody two shoes in our previous schools, honor role students, (she is truly smart, I just worked hard), and she was also a good athlete, while I was, again, a hard worker, but without many results in this field!

She and I both also came out of this experience very damaged. It took us both a long time to realize that those 4 years were not meant to destroy us but to release us into our true selves. And today we talked about how we are both-FINALLY-ready to release our hatred for the headmistress, the teachers, the people who made our lives so miserable for those long 4 years.

The details are not relevant. Suffice it to say we both turned away from our goody two shoes personalities and became “bad girls” from the standpoint that we took to smoking and drinking to prove they couldn’t destroy us. Little did we realize at the time that we were only hurting ourselves. Ditto carrying a grudge for all these long years. Most of those “wicked people” are long gone and who is hurt by carrying grudges other than the carrier of those grudges? They become a heavy burden that slows down our progress and since both she and I are soul seekers, having that burden shadowing our every move has been yet another challenge.

Coincidentally, just before Christmas I received a plea for money from the school. That has happened at least once a year since the day we graduated, 46 years ago this June. It just so happens, though, that this year instead of throwing the appeal into the recycling bin unopened, I chose to open it, read it, and respond by writing a check. This sounds like a small thing, and indeed in some sense it was. The check was for a small amount, but it has been a HUGE step in my development. It wasn’t until I talked to my friend this morning that I realized what this step meant.

It meant that I was finally able to put this all behind me. It meant that I finally realized that this adversity was only a way to teach me lessons, ones I learned layers of over and over and over through my life. (I am after all a very slow learner!!!! Remedial life lessons I call it!) It meant I finally forgave the “offenders” who were really OK people after all is said and done. It was my attitude that demonized them. It meant that I could, after too many years, move on.

I truly believe in the power of educating women worldwide. Looking at the school which is so different from the one I attended, I made a conscious decision in December to support that belief by donating a few dollars to their mission of educating women. They are truly doing some amazing work with women. So why not support it?

It’s a small step in the whole scheme of things. But a big one for me. To forgive is sometimes the best hardest thing to do. To let go of those horrid memories and release them to the balm of forgiveness has done more for my soul than I can say.

I hope you can move ahead much more quickly than I did. To be honest, I have put so much focus on healing other issues this was kind of on the back burner for many years…..but believe me it never stopping simmering there!

What is on your soul’s mind that needs releasing? What is your plan to do so?

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

Catherine Ponder

Here are a few more quotes I found on forgiveness that I thought you might enjoy:

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis Smedes

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” Lewis Smedes

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

Robert Muller

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Colors of Winter

photo from dsh archives

Each season of the year is associated with different colors either through systems like feng shui or through our personal associations. Feng shui winter colors are blue or black. For me personally I associate winter with white, red, black, gray and muted greens.

My own winter color palette has white as the main color. You can tell I live in the far north where it starts to snow November 1 and stops about May 1. Between these two dates the ground is generally covered in a blanket of white snow that sparkles in the sun, blows up into your face, and softens all sounds. White is associated with purity, with a clean slate, and new beginnings. It is light, airy, untouched, virginal. Looking out on a new snowfall you see possibilities and so it is with the color white.

Black is probably the color I next associate with winter. The crisp black outline of trees is so clearly visible when placed against this white backdrop. There is a play of light and dark, of light and shadow, of illumination and secrecy, of yang and yin. White is revealing while black can hide. Black is that yummy darkness in which seeds rest and absorb nourishment for new growth in the spring. Like white, it can represent new possibilities: those things that are hidden and getting ready to be revealed!

One sees little pieces of red in the form of cardinals and fruits like crab apples that remain on the trees for much of the winter, or at least until the birds have picked them all off. The red with the white and black is striking. It is new energy, hope, and just that counter point that we need in the winter to bring us a feeling of warmth and wellbeing.

Gray, too often the color of our skies up here, is another color that hides or keeps things behind a fog so that we cannot clearly see. So much of winter is like that. We know intellectually that seeds are in the ground and they will sprout in the spring with vigor and force but we can’t see them. We know that the snow will eventually melt and give way to spring but we can’t see that happening. We know that the hibernating animals will come out again in the spring, that the grass will become green again, that the ice will melt….these are all the promises of spring that are hidden from us in the winter.

The muted greens we have are the colors from our evergreens: yews, pines, firs, cedars, holly….but the vibrancy of the green which comes with spring is toned down in the winter, as if even it is taking a break, a rest if you will, waiting for that surge of growth to come in the spring.

And the blue that is found in feng shui for the winter is more of an icy blue, the color our lake becomes when it freezes over, its turquoise waters turned solid with white cracks and a dusting of snow on top. It always reminds me of those icy blue drinks sold at convenience stores!

All the winter colors are so beautiful and quiet. The riot of color that comes in the spring and summer is loud and noisy and like a fiesta. But this, these winter colors, is all about resting, pulling back in to re-gather our strength and ideas. It is about trusting in the future and the promise of spring. It is about going within in order to emerge with a burst in the spring with new ideas, new energy, new ways of being.

Let the colors of each season help you with the rhythm of the nature, the going in and the coming out, the resting and the doing. And enjoy the winter spectrum!

Achieving Goals

Complaining about anything, holds you in the place of refusing to receive the things you've been asking for. Justifying about anything holds you in the place of refusing to let in the very things that you've been asking for. Blaming someone, holds you in the place of refusing to let in the things that you've been asking for. Feeling guilty, feeling angry, it doesn't matter what you call it, it is a refusal, not a conscious one. You're asking; you can't help but ask. The Universe is yielding; it must yield. It's a big question, folks: why aren't you letting it in?

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Los Angeles, CA on Saturday, March 10th, 2001 #306

The preceding quote from Abraham states clearly how we hold ourselves back from achieving those things that we seek. My wish for all of us is that we each find our way through whatever blocks us from moving forward. Happy New Year to all. May love prevail…..

Saint Snow

I saw this a few years ago in a Church garden....I imagine it is St. Francis since he was in a garden but then again, he could be someone else! At any rate, I found the snow had fallen to garb him in cape and hat and found him quite appealing! I hope you enjoy the photo!

We are still traveling and will be for another week. I will not be able to post again until we land somewhere fairly permanent so while I have the opportunity I am just popping in to say Happy New Year and I'll be in touch. I'm sorry I can't read all your posts or comment right now but I do so enjoy doing that and will be back again soon. Thank you all for being in my life!

Happy New Year to you all! May 2010 bring you your heart's desires!

Blessings and love,
diantha

The Secret Garden

image courtesy of wikimedia.com

A classic children’s story and film, The Secret Garden is a wonderful story for young and old alike. My sister read this book with me when I was growing up and we delighted in the mystery, the suspense, the tale of friendship, healing and redemption. One Sunday recently TCM showed it on TV and I re-watched the film that was made before I was born…which is a long time ago!

And what came out of it was seeing again how faith, attitude, and love can change what is into what can be. For those of you who don’t know this charming story, it is about a walled garden in England that has been locked up for 10 years, since the owner’s wife was killed in the garden by a falling tree branch. Their child, now 10, lays crippled in a bed, never going outside, and growing up lonely. The owner’s niece, who has grown up in the Crown Colony of India, comes to live with her uncle and discovers little Colin hidden away in his bedroom, fully believing he will die as a child.

I won’t give away the rest but the healing powers of nature come into play, as well as the faith, love and friendship that arise between the children. What I walked away with this time was a fervent desire to encourage each of you to read this charming story, many of you for the first time. Or rent this sappy old movie, which I adore. It is pretty simple given all the special effects we are used to, but I for one am continually drawn to these simple old movies where the story often comes out right in the end and there is a clear moral teaching in it.

Maybe this is my reaction to the craziness and uncertainty and unwanted changes that are occurring in this world. A return to something simple, clear, and morally right feels good. Still, it is a lesson worth remembering about how powerful nature is in the healing process, how a clear vision and faith in that vision can make a difference, and how having a strong friendship and support system can change a life.

Help for the Holidays

Often in my line of work I am asked, “Can you give me some simple ways to cope with the stress of the Holidays?” So in the interest of giving some helpful hints to my clients,

I have created a brief list of things anyone can do to smooth out the Holiday stressors!

• Breathe. Take 5 minutes each day to breath consciously. If you want to include prayer or mediation during this time all the better, but do remember to take long, slow deep breaths.
• Change. Remember that traditions are “someone’s way of denying that things change”. I am quoting a client here but her message is a good one. For myself, I used to insist on making dozens of cookies, and 5 gingerbread houses besides decorating to the nines, sending homemade cards, having our entire family for Christmas. Finally, after ending up in tears after every Christmas I heard my husband say for the umpteenth time, “Why are you doing all this?” And I realized no one cared except me. When I let go of MY expectations, I moved into really enjoying being in the moment and being with my wonderful family. THEY didn’t make those demands of me, I did. And guess what? NO ONE, not even I, miss those once held sacred demands! So check into your own traditions and see if there are some you can let go, to free you up to enjoy things more.
• Simplify your gift giving. If you don’t like to shop, use catalogs or, if you have one, the computer. It saves hundreds of steps and many hours. Better yet, make donations to charities for gifts when and where appropriate.
• Food and Exercise. Remember to eat nutriciously and to continue with your exercise program. Nothing zaps our energy and spirits more than endless overindulging and giving up on exercise.
• Rest. Take a nap when you can. I find that even a 10-minute time out with my feet up can revive me for hours.
• Simplify your meals and support your local talent. There are some great options right in town for precooked yummy and nutritious take out meals. Preorder some of your Holiday meals from places like these or some side dishes for your big entertaining needs to help lighten your load.
• Smile. I’ve noticed that even when I am feeling the most rushed, harried or stressed that my day improves considerably by being kind and friendly to everyone I meet. And you’ll spread goodwill along the way, passing it on to others, who will pass it along to others and so on, and so on!
• Stay hydrated. Take a bottle of water with you in your car as you run errands and when you are busy cooking at home, remember to keep a big glass of water going as you sip your way through the day.
• Give. It is a proven fact that one of the best ways to get out of our own problems and troubles is to volunteer our time, talents and/or money to those less fortunate. There are hundreds of places and people who need what you have to give. What better time than now to start.

Bobbing Corks

photo courtesy of http://reverendmommy.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html

"You cannot really disconnect yourself from the passionate, desirous being that you are. It was with enormous clarity that you came forth into this body, and that's why when you try to hold your desire down, it keeps coming up...Your cork will always float unless you are holding it down."

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Silver Spring, MD on Saturday, April 19th, 1997 #275

Our Love,

Jerry and Esther

This is an excerpt from a transmission from Abraham who is the entity that speaks through Esther Hicks. Abraham says so many wise and supportive things that help us sort out some of our thoughts, worries, and concerns. At the suggestion of one of my client friends, I have subscribed to their daily quotes. This one appeared recently and I love how simply this truth is expressed.

I decided to highlight this quote because this week I have seen so many clients who are struggling with this issue. They WANT to change, they WANT to seize their dream, but they are not doing so. Because of fear? Lack of self-esteem? Lack of support, direction or clarity? Yes, yes, and yes.

But today I saw a client with whom I have worked for several years. A few years ago she slowly began to let go of those things that held her back. She slowly began to lay aside the voice within that told her she was not worthy. She slowly released relationships that did not serve her. Today when she walked in, she was radiant. RADIANT! This from a woman who less than three years ago was ready to just sit down and give up.

What made the difference in this one woman? She persevered in spite of her fears and doubts. She held onto her vision of what life could be. And what happened for her is that life became more than she had dared imagine! Make no mistake: she has had challenges aplenty: financial, marital, employment, familial….it goes on and on. But one thing that kept her going was her spirit, that cork that Abraham mentions above in the quote.

Keeping that connection with our spirit, that “passionate, desirous being” that Abraham talks about, is what is so important. If we loose that, we loose our liveliness, our radiance. We become dull, lifeless, without passion.

If you or someone you know has lost that connection, it is important to find it again. Without it life becomes joyless. And God does not want that for us. Sometimes small steps are what is needed to begin.

Begin by holding a vision for what a full life would look like to you. Then take action. Continue to take small steps towards that vision. When doubts arise, thank them for coming and ask them to go, for you no longer have time for them. When challenges arise, strengthen your vision, hold onto it tightly and do not let it go in the face of problems.

At some point, you will find you are having more good days than bad. You will find you have made progress and you are moving closer towards your goal. Just keep going. Keep going! As long as you are following your dream, you will be supported by the Universe. It takes courage, vision, steadfastness, determination, and will to reach your dream. But then, like my client today, you will radiate life and light from the core of your being.

It can be done. Start today. Let your cork bob to the top!