Detach from the Outcome

photo from the book, Simply Color

As feng shui practitioners we work to bring in desired changes in our clients’ lives. Most people are looking for help with relationships, money issues, career paths, or health. Other issues do come up of course but those seem to be the ones that become the main issues in people’s lives.

However, change, no matter how much it is desired, sometimes comes in a package we do not like. I know of a woman who had a feng shui consultation and after the changes were made, her boyfriend broke up with her. She was devastated until she met the love of her life a few weeks later and realized her first boyfriend was lacking several qualities she was seeking.

Then there was the client who had been married several years and asked for help with the stagnant relationship. She was not happy when several weeks after she implemented recommended changes, her husband moved out. However, they both decided to work on the relationship and sooner than later, he moved back in and they had a second wedding!

Or how about the woman who owned a failing restaurant and came to her feng shui pratitioner asking for help? When her restaurant failed soon thereafter for good, she was furious. But what happened is that loosing her restaurant freed her up to move on to what she REALLY wanted to do: sing opera. And that is what happened.

There are countless tales of people who are seeking change and yet when it comes they do not trust what they get. The package is not what they think they want. They get angry. They may be hurt, or disappointed and certainly dismayed. And quite often they may lash out at the feng shui practitioner.

The point is, when change comes, it is hard sometimes not to question the result. The Tao or the Buddha or the Dali Llama would teach us that we are to detach from the outcome and enlarge our thinking to include the possibility that getting what we DON’T want might be the gift. As in the example above, the woman lost her boyfriend but found the love of her life. The restauranteur lost her restaurant but literally found her voice. The couple lost each other only to return to love together in a whole new form.

Change. It is constant. Sometimes we get what we want, sometimes we don’t. Can you think of a time in your life when what you didn’t get what you wanted turned into a blessing?